miércoles, 31 de mayo de 2017

See you again.

Desde la ciudad de Cork Irlanda, Beatriz nos manda este relato con algún toque de humor sobre la reencarnación. Sin ánimo de ofender a nadie, la autora nos presta su historia para nuestro disfrute. El relato está escrito en inglés pero con cualquier traductor online podréis leerlo en español. Por cierto, la imagen de cabecera la he obtenido de Aquí.

An office in the clouds. An administrator is sitting behind a desk with PC and telephone.
A: - Next, please. 
B: - Good afternoon. 
A: - Good afternoon. How can I help you?
B: - My name is Meredith Green. I have been cleared for reincarnation within the next two months o so.
A: - Ah yes wait a moment  ... I see.  Hm ... At the moment there is a waiting list for your preferred ranking country, Ireland ...  Good quality of life there, still an EU member, ... still a democracy ...You see there are many couples with fertility problems there ... all those hormones in the drinking water, and alcohol problems are taking their toll on them ... So there is a bit of a bottleneck there, and of course, there are many ranking applicants. But we have a lovely vacancy in the Sudan ... sure, it is not as high on the quality of Life index, but it might just be the challenge you need.
B: - Sudan? Well, I know next to nothing about the Sudan ...
A: - Nice climate, lots of space. The prospective parents are in agriculture, that's as much as I can reveal ... and I can guarantee you that you'd be born as a boy. It looks like a very interesting situation.
B: - Ahem, what is their denomination?
A: - Muslims. But usually, we don't have a problem with Muslim rinks. 
B: - But they don't believe in it, do they?
A: - No, but they'll certainly accept you. Most people in Ireland don't believe in it either. Or so we think. 
B: - Well, I'm not so sure. Wouldn't there be any other options? Britain maybe? I'm fairly familiar with it ... though not so keen on Theresa May. We'll I guess she won't be there forever.
A: -  Yes, and I wonder where we'll send her next time round.  ... But to answer your question --we have a vacancy for a baby girl in Calcutta, with congenital blindness, you will have five brothers and sisters, so there will be a warm, cosy family connection ... Father works in a factory ... it is a secure job, the mother is at home, has her own sewing machine. Now, these people know a thing or two about reincarnation!
B: - I'm just not sure. These options aren't very attractive to me, I'm afraid.
A: - Well, please remember that you have already gone through various existences in the developed world, the so-called first world. But there are more places available elsewhere, and you are scheduled for gathering experiences and learning ... developing yourself towards a higher stage. Sooner or later you need to meet the challenge; and after that, there might be an easier option ... and also remember those people who have already undergone third-world-lives successfully, and hope to get a better life next time round. So there are waiting lists for nearly all first-world places. .... But at the moment, with all these wars, famines and epidemics going on, there are so many new arrivals that we are having difficulties finding vacancies for those finishing their reincarnation workshops. You know, all this contraception business doesn't help ... birth rates are low where places are sought ... so, that's the market ... Unless you could make a little contribution?
B: - Contribution you're saying ... Well, I'd just like to rink in a familiar setting.  Last time I tried to be a good Christian ... so I thought I deserved a break. In fact, I hoped to go to heaven. Then suddenly I found myself here ... all lies apparently ... I learned that I was supposed to be reborn since I had not yet finished my karmic lessons. That was never part of the Church doctrine.
A: - Now, now ... we always get complaints about that, but it is not our fault. At some stage, they removed it at some council. But believe me, those who did had a very uncomfortable existence in their next reincarnations, if that's any comfort to you.
B: - ... But there should be a level playing field, don't you agree? People should be told about this ...
A: - Well, they are ... They have been from the earliest times ... and even now there are people who discover reincarnation and write popular books about it. It's massive. Don't tell me you have been completely ignorant of it, just because in your last existence you were an Irish Catholic?
B: - No, but you don't take that seriously. I mean, there are books being written about 'Angels in your Hair', and people actually buy them. Like Old Irish Sagas. They talk about reincarnation, too. Mind you, without all the catches that come with it. But you don't believe in all that.
A: - ... Yes, sometimes people believe when they should not, and fail to believe where they should ... Now, another suitable vacancy has just come up on my global conception detector.  You can reincarnate in a Buddhist family in Thailand. Then you'll know exactly what awaits you next time.  Now, I am duty bound to tell you that your chances are not likely to get better by kicking the can down the road. There is another cohort of rinkers finishing their workshops and getting their papers ready for rebirth shortly.  ... Wait ... ups, that place has gone.
B: - How so?
A: - She has had an accident.  But another place has just come up. Ireland this time ... Bingo, exactly what you wanted. A couple somewhere at the back of a bar ... in fact on the toilet ... oh ... mh... is that consensual? Well, she has conceived, and she is a Catholic, in fact, ... you'll be safe there.   So make up your mind, -- do you want that place?
B: - As the son of a rapist?
A: - You will forget everything once you are reborn. I know many people who would happily accept such an opportunity.
B: - Ok, I'll take it.
A: -  Fine. You'll get more information in a few weeks. 
B: - Thank you.
A: - A pleasure. Goodbye. Next, please ...

A few months later Meredith Green discovers that the mother has given him up for adoption, and the couple from the Sudan whose newborn has died, adopt him.

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